I (29M) have hit it off really well with my partner/fwb(38F). We have been seeing each other for a while and have a good bond (sexual and mental) and implicitly trust each other. A while ago, we talked about wanting to participate in an orgy together. She has been in an orgy once before many years ago with someone she trusted, whereas for me this would be the first time. The man she went with before was experienced so she did not really have to worry about anything but this time around, we have both come to the conclusion that we are inexperienced and should take proper precautions and prep.

Another friend of mine is going to put us in touch with a couple in our city who organizes these events. What preparation should I do before I think about participating? While I have had more than 1 partner before, there was never an overlap, I never saw more than 1 person together so I want to do my research before going ahead with this.

1. I have some body image issues, so my biggest worry is what if nobody wants me? Do I just sit around in a corner and watch others? I do not think i would be comfortable with that at this stage in life. I'm not worried about others being better at sex and that affecting my confidence because logically, I feel like that might be an issue. There are some things I am really good at, and I'm happy with that. My issues are only about my own body.

2. We will meet the couple for a coffee or drinks before deciding whether we want to go ahead with it. What kind of questions should I ask? I know tests are mandatory, but apart from that? Gender ratio? How much time? What else should I ask?

3. If I connect with someone over there, is it bad practice to ask them if they want to connect solo, at some later time?

4. Do we need a safe word? Obviously, if my partner is uncomfortable and wants to stop/leave, we will, immediately.

5. Any online resources that would help me get ready for this?

I'm sorry if this feels like a very prudish or crude question that is completely inappropriate for this subreddit. If that is the case, and if you know a better community where I can ask this question, please do let me know :)