This is long, I am sorry.

My wife and I have been married for just over 17 years now, together for about 20. Over the past year or so we've had a zillion conversations that slowly lead us to being open. We love each other and we have an amazing sex life.

We've felt for a while that if serendipity had a story to tell, it was totally cool to let it play out, enjoy yourself and share the story afterwards. It would actually be kinda hot to hear about.

After officially deciding to be open we both began to play around with the dating apps. I quickly learned some interesting lessons on society, the value it places on men, or lack there of. How much easier it was going to be for my wife, and ultimately that we enjoyed different aspects of being open. I now expect my interactions to be far fewer, and further between. That could be wrong but thus far that's what the trend is showing. I think geography also is playing a role.

There is a whole other community in The Lifestyle. I now wonder if swinging spawns because men need to leverage their relationship for sexual status. Anyway, I don't think that's my jam, it's too sexually focused out of the gate. I am more interested in intimacy than sex.

Here is my only hang up and I'd love some advice. It's unnerving to think that there is some inherent risk that I am being exposed to because my wife will be having more sexual experiences. We've agreed to condoms but we both really enjoy giving oral which has many real risks. It's like supporting someone that wants to skydive, but you need to stand under them if the chute doesn't open. We have been in a fantastic situation where I have a vasectomy and so we haven't needed to use any protection. How do I let go that her pleasures could bring me real long term risks when she will be throwing the dice a lot more frequently all things considered.