I want to preface this question by saying we're not new to the open stuff, we have been poly\swinger\enm for more than a decade so we are no stranger to conflict, uncomfortable situations, drama, etc. I don't need relationship advice, I'm simply looking for opionions on what others would do in a very specific situation.
In this hypothetical, you, John, are married to Jane. You are also dating Betty who is married to Bob. Bob and Jane dated briefly but it didn't work out. You and Betty have been dating for 4-5 months and it's going really well. Y'all click, you understand each other, there's chemistry, and the sex, though only twice so far, is enjoyable. One day you learn that Bob, for personal reasons that don't make sense to anyone but Bob, is no longer comfortable with you and Betty having a physical relationship. He's all for everyone staying friends because y'all have common interests and all get along great, but anything sexual\ physical\ romantic needs to stop and roll back to platonic."
Keeping in mind this is only Bob's wishes, you and Betty both still want to continue as is. What do you do?
A- Stop because her spouse doesn't approve anymore, regardless of the reasons.
B- Continue because consenting adults can make their own decisions and Betty wants to continue.
C- Pause things for a few months and let Bob sort his feelings out, but then eventually continue whether he later approves or not.
I know this is vague so for a little attempt at context: Betty is well aware of Bob's feelings on the matter and they have discussed it ad nauseam, but she wants to continue because Bob's reasons for stopping are, self-admittedly, dumb to anyone but Bob, and because the John\Betty relationship is important to her. NOT more important than her marriage to Bob, but important enough to advocate for it's continuation. Bob is not wanting to end their openness altogether, he enjoys ENM, his issue is specifically with John and the John\Betty relationship, and also has nothing at all to do with Bob\Jane not working out.
Thanks in advance for your contributions.
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