My partner and I are slowly easing into being non-monogamous, and he hooked up with a girl last weekend.

At the current moment I asked not to be told who the person was, because I am still adjusting, but I was totally ok knowing it happened.

Last night she contacted me under the guise of “not feeling like a girls girl” but she very clearly just wanted to make sure I knew it was her, which forced him to break the boundary I set about not wanting to know who it was.

He has history with this girl - she has previously coerced him into sex while he was grieving and drunk, accused him of taking advantage of her after he was not receptive to future advances, and has been stalking my instagram over the past 3 months.

He was nearly black out drunk again when they hooked up this past time, and she is now saying they didn’t use a condom which is another boundary of mine. He says they did but I don’t know how true that is if he was black out.

I feel very hurt and disrespected by what’s happened, two boundaries I set for my own protection have been broken the very first time he has ever slept with another person.

I’m pissed off that it was her, because I deeply dislike her for what she’s done in the past and the fact shes been keeping tabs on me through social media. I was also under the impression they were not in contact.

But also I don’t even know if I’m justified in being upset with him because she is clearly manipulative, the only times they have ever had sex was when he was VERY inebriated and unable to give proper consent.

I feel very confused and I need some input from someone outside of the situation. Thank you