Hi!
This isn't really a question, but I just need to get some things out of my system, and I know you guys won't think I'm mad!
Ok so I've recently started seeing a fwb (woman). She's great, what we have (so far) is great. But I think I'm fully in the throes of 'new relationship energy' and plus all the emotional stuff that comes with having your first sexual experience with a woman. She makes me smile, she makes me verrryyy horny, I'm really happy that I met her.
But I am also emotionally exhausted, to the point that yesterday I had to search 'videos to make you cry' because I just knew that I needed to have a proper cry. Not because I was sad or upset, I just felt full, you know? And just now I saw a facebook post about those candles that some vets light in their waiting room when someone is having to say goodbye to their pet, and I just started sobbing! It reminded me of putting our cat down, nearly a year ago, and while the memories of that do still make me emotional, I wouldn't normally start sobbing like that! I'm also approaching my period so that can't help.
We've been chatting quite a bit by text, and I know she's super busy (high pressured job, fiance, other friends, hobbies etc), but waiting for to her reply to me has been driving me round the bend!! I'm not annoyed, just impatient I think lol, partly cos I rarely have things that properly distract me and keep me busy. I have lots to do (two kids, PhD, part time work), but most of that doesn't stop me responding to a message within an hour or so. I think there might also be a slight concern on my part that she's worried I'm getting too into her, and wants to cool things off/not talk as much. But I hope if that was the case, she'd just be honest. And I know logically she's probably just busy.
I think some feelings are developing on my part, but having thought long and hard, and realising I need to think about things differently now I've stepped into the enm world, I've realised that those feelings are OK and I don't want things to change between us.
Do I want more from her i.e. more time/more commitment? NO!
Do I want her to stop seeing other people? ABSOLUTELY NO!
Do I want our dynamic to change? NO!
Am I happy with how things are? VERY!

So when I think of it logically, all is good. So why am I so emotionally exhausted and pining after her?!