I've posted here about this before but I'm really struggling with this and I thought I'd try one more time.

I've (42f) been dating someone (50m) for 2 years every 2 weeks. Some time ago now I learned that throughout his ENM time (he defines as open) he has always had barrier free sex with his lovers (and sometimes hookups) despite an agreement with his spouse (52nb) not to. He hasn't told them.

He says that this last happened in Fall 2022. Which is around when we met. And that it happened with a hookup. He says that he's not doing this anymore. Given he said he wasn't doing this anymore and seemed to really "get" it being an issue...I decided to give him another shot and asked for an agreement that he tell me if it happened with someone else so that I could make informed decisions.

Recently he has changed his agreements with his spouse such that he can go barrier free with some people, depending on testing. I wont do this with him given what I know of his past. Recently he started doing this with someone, and "forgot" to let me know...so broke the agreement I hoped was him showing he was changing and understood how his past decisions were poor.

The reason I'm writing (I can't talk to anyone about this) is because I feel really stuck on moving past this behaviour from his past. I do believe that people can change and that he wants to make good choices...but I'm struggling to really put it behind me and it's building into resentment about small things.

How do you deal with people's pasts when they show poor judgement and lack of ethical behaviour?