I’m a queer woman dating a straight man. We decided to open our relationship. Although he is allowed to date other people, he is very monogamous and has zero interest in doing that. He says I can date others as long as they’re not men because he thinks that me being with other men would make our relationship less special and sacred (and that me being with non men would not produce that effect apparently?). I told him that no matter who I date he would always be special and irreplaceable to me. While he 100% believes me on that, he said he would still be hurt if I dated a man.

I went on a dating app and matched with a nonbinary person I was very excited about. So I showed him some pictures of the person. He said he was very uncomfortable with me talking to this person because according to him they looked masculine presenting. I was very sad and disappointed to hear that, I had been really looking forward to our date. I’ve been sad about it for a few days, but he isn’t willing to change his position. I don’t get why he has to apply the gender binary to people who don’t fit that?

Is this an unhealthy dynamic? Is this normal?