I am 22 years old, I consider myself young and I would like to read some thoughts about monogamy and non-monagamy in a nonjudgmental way, so I choose this subreddit to have a conversation about it.

I cannot talk about this with anyone without them pointing out why monogamy is bad and toxic or why non-monogamy is bad and toxic, lol.

I am in a monogamous relationship right now. I know for sure I am not ready to have a relationship in any other way, but I wonder about the future.

I don’t understand in a logical way why I feel the need to have my partner sexually and romantically all to myself. I trust him and I know he loves me in a way he couldn’t ever love anyone else, it’s unique, so why it is so hard to understand he could love another person? It is only insecurity? It is only feelings?

I don’t like when non-monogamous people say that monogamy is for the insecure and that it is toxic and that my boyfriend will definitely cheat on me. I also don’t like when monogamous people say that non-monogamy is wrong and that it will never work.

To me is a middle ground. Monogamy feels safe to me but leaves me feeling bad that I am restricting me and him. Non-monogamy feels correct but unsafe and a rollercoaster ride.

Sure, I love having just one person to focus on and receiving special attention. But isn’t this a fantasy? Am I immature? Do I need to work on myself? Can I have a healthy and realistic monogamous life without it becoming hard to deal with? How can I love “freely” and feel safe at the same time?

If my partner ever cheat on me I would have a hard time recovering, I know it. At the same time I would wonder: is this the worst mistake someone can make in a relationship? Why do I care so much? Why my body feels weird?

Both monogamous and non-monogamous people sometimes seem silly and obsessive, but I guess that is the overall effect love has in our lifes.