My former partner and I took a step back from our relationship, as there’s a lot of things shifting in our lives that will reduce our time together. We’re discussing what restructuring this looks like.

For me — I want something more than casual but less than a traditional relationship. I still want to have romantic and emotional interactions, but I’m not entirely sure how to define that. I don’t expect to talk every day or see each other every week, but there needs to be some level of security and consistency for this connection to be sustainable.

Would it just be defined as “dating” at that point? We’re supposed to sit down and talk, but I have no idea how to verbalize that. Everything I come to the conclusion of, most people would define as a partner. I’m still trying to figure out what I want/need in a relationship.

We still both love each other, and we have expressed that, but dialing it back takes the pressure off of both of us. Expectations to see each other and talk all day everyday are nonexistent. The way I see it, I cherish them deeply, and I do feel butterflies and love towards them. However, I don’t expect it to last forever, and if I had to, I could be friends with them after some time passes.

I need help communicating what I want out of this. I want some relationship type things, but I also don’t know exactly what that means. I’m really struggling to verbalize it. I thought about bringing the relationship smorgasbord worksheet to fill out together.

What are some questions I should ask during our discussion? How do I keep myself in check and make sure this is a dynamic I want? What’s the difference between emotional and romantic connections? Can you still have something emotional and not call them a partner? What do you even call this person?