Hey everyone, i posted here before and you guys were extremely supportive and gave me a lot of advice so here i go again lol please bare with me since i feel a little overwhelmed.

I (31f), feel like i never understood monogamy and never completely felt comfortable in it, since my last monogamous relationship ended 3 years i decided to just fly solo and understand what i want from all of this, at the time and even up to a few months ago, ethical monogamy was just a concept i didn't know much about , until i started reading about it and honestly understood that that is what i wanted. I have a few fwb that i believe i have a great connection with, some are monogamous but said they're okay with our arrangements for now since they're not in relationships. I put ENM as what i'm looking for on dating sites, and thought maybe i would find what i'm looking for there, since all of my fwbs i met them in real life, which will bring me to my next point, i met a girl and omg she's amazing, we've only been on one date cause we live in different states, but we talk everyday and i feel like she's the type of person i wanna be with! Her and i saw my friend of 4 years together while we were on our date and we all had drinks together since i don't get to see anyone often (i live in the middle of nowhere and so far from civilisation, friends, family...etc), now, the story is what happens afterwards, my friend said that we should hangout more often and all since we haven't seen each other in 2 years, so i said yes. Last weekend, I take my dogs and go to my friend's house, him and i never expressed any interest in each other, mainly because of our previous hangouts, his ex gf was my friend and there were a few complications back then. Now, during this weekend we had fun and the whole thing was pretty cool, still no interest shown, or at least so i thought. We cuddled to sleep when i was there, and tbh i didn't think much of it , but I ENJOYED THOSE CUDDLES SO FUCKEN MUCH, then all of a sudden i'm not seeing him the same way, like now i want this guy so much, but i didn't say anything, until he did, and that's what i'm here to talk about, i'm having this overflow of feelings and it's so weird and overwhelming, it's like a door opened and i don't get it, i can't even sort through those feelings, and i feel them for the girl i was talking about in the beginning but just not as intense.

Have you ever had anything similar to this? Am i crazy? xD How do you deal with this kind of feelings? (not saying i wanna get rid of them lol but i can't stop thinking about either of them)

Remember that this is very new to me, i used to put my focus on one person because i guess that's what monogamy is but how do manage my feelings for more people when they're kinda intense?