I (37M) have been doing the solo poly thing for about 15 years now. I'm a decently attractive man who knows how to seduce a woman, so my love life is a lot of casual sex that occasionally leads to deeper connections. My deepest connections right now are with two lovers. One has a primary partner who is her priority, limiting her availability to me. Another is a good friend but when it comes to sexuality, while we're comfortable expressing our sexuality with each other, we're not really sexually compatible. I date new partners a lot, and recently I've met a few really nice potential partners. But with each of them, it's come up on the first date that I want an open relationship and they want monogamy. I'm at the point that I want a deeper relationship, and my open sex life is not really fulfilling to me at this point. Still, the idea of monogamy scares me because I'm afraid I'll be sexually bored within a few weeks or months, and have a desire for more novelty or adventure. And I also don't really want to redefine or end connections that I have with existing lovers. But I'm starting to wonder if I should consider monogamy as a way to make things work with a committed partner. I've been weighing the pros and cons and I'm curious to hear how other folks with a non-monogamous orientation think about this.
TL;DR Would you consider monogamy for the right partner? Under what circumstances would you consider it?
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- 2 months ago
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Why not?