I need some advice or whatever you want to tell me. Me (30F) and my husband (35F) married for 5 years decided to open up the relationship, he’s bisexual (came out when married) and had some issues previous marriage, he cheated (sexting , lying and maybe meeting other men) I know this is on me but I decided to move on and continue.Some years ago he wanted to try again his sexuality and brought up open relationship, I wasn’t sure and did not agree, time passed and he lost his libido admitting he doesn’t know why, he just lost it, but I know he still masturbates, and watch porn. I talked about this with him, always saying it was gonna try but never did anything. And I got used to, I felt like we were roommates, we get along really good, we’re friends, but also a lot of fights that are about him not being able to control his emotions , I’ve suggested to try therapy but refuses… also to mention that we live in another country and don’t have many friends so we just have us… Anyway, innocent me after some time where everything was working out I thought we were doing good, so the open relationship was on the table again he saying that he wanted me to have fun and my needs met as he had no libido (and refused to figure out why), also is a kink of him, to “share me”, I thought it could work, we made rules, I read a lot about it, (thanks Reddit) and open up. After some weeks of it I decided to go on the apps, only met one guy on a date, nothing happened and now I’ve met someone else, who has just turned my head upside down.. we had an immediate connection, and chemistry, it has everything that I’ve always wanted in a couple and refused to admit that I wanted this kind of connection and relationship. So now I’m questioning my relationship, if it is what I want, if I’m really happy or if I just settle for the minimum.. i feel more myself with this person that I just met and happy… and I feel like a horrible person! And I know maybe I am.. but I don’t know what to do, I’ve been feeling so lonely the past years.. so anyway I just wanted to vent. I’m open to any questions, suggestions or help… I can clarify any question.. but thanks for this space !