This happened a few months ago, and it's been resolved. While I'm open to any advice or interpretation I mostly just want to know if I'm wrong, as I was called a hypocrite when I first shared the story and again recently.

Anyways. Libby and I live in different cities but have been friends for almost our entire lives. She admitted that she's always found me attractive and we eventually started a LDR.

Over the summer Libby came by for a week so we could spend time together. One night we were in a bar and ran into an old colleague of mine (Nick), eventually they began talking and Nick asked Libby to go for a drink to another bar. Libby pulled me aside and asked if I was okay with that, which I told her it was as she was planning to come back at the end of the night and we didn't have any plans. While they were out I called my primary partner (Paula, not a nesting partner) to see if she was free. We spent some time together and she was gone before Libby got back.

Another night during this visit we went to see a live musical with a group of friends, the group did include Libby, Paula and myself. This was planned weeka in advance, they both knew eachother would be there, they both get along with eachother well so it was a non-issue. At the end of the night I went home with Libby and Paula went home with her NP.

Another night Nick called Libby pretty late and asked if she wanted to stay over. Libby said yes without even asking first and I was pretty upset with it, as we had plans the following morning. Libby left and I eventually had a meltdown (yay ASD), I called Paula as I wanted somebody to talk to, I didn't ask her to but she came over immediately and was able to calm me down. Libby did come back that night but I was already asleep, Paula was still there and they had a short exchange.

Libby and I did talk, she apologized profusely. The entire day felt ruined but we got through it.

When sharing my story I've been called a hypocrite more than once for seeing Paula during my time with Libby while getting upset that Libby was seeing Nick. I don't think I am a hypocrite because I only planned to see Paula during a group outing that was planned and the only other times I saw Paula was when Libby made alternate plans, otherwise I would have only seen her that one time the entire week. On top of that Paula and I are in an established relationship while Libby literally just met Nick, which in hindsight I wonder was appropriate at all. I don't blame Nick for any of this as Libby ultimately made her choices.

I don't see how I could be a hypocrite but I'm open to being wrong about it. Be as direct and brutal as you see fit but just please make it make sense.