hello, i will definitely be deleting this later since my alts dont have enough karma to post here lol. i started dating my boyfriend about a month or so ago. i’m 22 and he’s 28. when we started talking, he said he wanted an open relationship. now, i’ve done poly before, where i had a nesting partner and a couple boyfriends that were all seeing other people. my boyfriends were all basically best friends and knew each other pretty well. we sometimes did some group stuff that i really enjoyed. but polyamory honestly destroyed my relationship with my nesting partner. we ended up breaking up because my partner couldnt shake the jealous feelings, even though he was the one that wanted to be poly in the first place.

so when me and my boyfriend started talking and he mentioned wanting an open relationship, it was really disheartening for me because i didn’t want to be put in that relationship dynamic again. i want to be monogamous. but as we were talking more, it seemed like an open relationship mostly looks like just having group sex or fwb on the side for him. he’s also really into cuckholding.

i have a few conflicting feelings. for one thing, i am really into the idea of having group sex, it’s a kink that him and i both share. but im also a little.. i guess frazzled? by the fact that he is so enthusiastic about me having sex with other people. i think im just really not used to it, because it makes me feel like he doesnt love me or something. but furthermore, i conceded that i would be okay with exploring that stuff with him if we were already in a monogamous relationship for a while, so that i can focus on feeling secure with him before trying stuff like that. and he agreed. but honestly i dont know if i would really be comfortable with any solo stuff. i hate the idea of him having sex with other girls, and im also not particularly interested in having sex with other men, unless it was in a group setting. also the thing i really liked about the group sex i had in my poly relationship was that everyone was friends and knew each other well and all had a connection to each other, so it was like sharing sooo much love and it was amazing. but group sex and cucking are a big part of his kinks. hes told me he will stay with me even if i decide i never wanna open the relationship.

he also ended his sexual dynamic with one of his fwb once we decided to start seeing each other seriously, but he’s still close with her as a friend which i have tons of jealousy about that im struggling with. but i feel like im robbing him of that experience, which is to have a fully open relationship like he initially wanted. he talks a lot about watching me have sex with other men and about how badly he wants to have group sex with me. but i genuinely only really feel attracted to him, the idea of having sex one on one with anyone else is not very attractive for me. i feel like im robbing him of the experience of having an open relationship even though he swears he loves me so much and that he doesnt need to be open with me to be happy with me. and i just wanted to know if anyone has any advice?