So I’m currently in a relationship with someone for just over 2 months. They have never been in an ENM relationship before and I have been single/solo when I met them. They expressed in the beginning that the biggest concern for them is their partner having deep emotional connections with multiple partners. Sexual partners and FWB’s seem less threatening. I told them that I don’t think that is something that I need, but that I am not sure.

We have been working on a set of guidelines (not rules) for a relationship agreements contract. My partner has suggested that we agree that deep feelings and emotional intimacy should be reserved for only each other, that we should only say “I love you” to each other, and that it is mandatory that we disclose if either of us is feeling love or deep feelings for another, and if another professes such feelings to one of us.

I’m not looking for advice of whether or not I should stay in the relationship. What I really want is to give my partner what they need to feel safe and supported, while also making sure I’m not agreeing to anything that could be harmful to me or cause me stress. I think this relationship has a lot of potential. I’d love to hear if others have experienced similar situations and would really love advice on how to ask the right questions and get to the heart of the matter.

To be clear, at the moment I don’t have deep feelings for someone else currently