we started monogamous, and i’ve always been clear that i am not poly. my boyfriend says that he has sexual curiosity and wants the freedom to explore, but i am and have always been strictly monogamous. i’ve told him that, and he says that he’d rather be with me so he’d give that up.

i feel guilty because i feel like im making him deny part of himself, but i’m also a firm believer that he makes his own decisions—if the arrangement he has doesn’t work for him, he can break up with me. but he’s been asking me for a threesome again / a hall pass, and i don’t know how to handle it. i told him that we’d talked about it, and that i was willing to experiment with anything sexually between the two of us to keep him satisfied, but he said that wasn’t enough.

now, he’s asking that i come up with a compromise. i don’t see one—he wants to sleep with someone else, and i don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who does.

is there a compromise here?