My partner and I are interested in having threesomes but I’m a chronic over thinker.

How does it even start? Like, who is kissing first and what is the other doing during the first makeout? What happens when someone taps out? When is it more likely to be overwhelming for someone and how is that communicated? What if I feel uncomfortable or conflicted and the other two are wholly into it? How much do you communicate about sexual preferences or possible anxiety? Where is the confluence of anxiety and enjoyment and how do you know if you’re experiencing discomfort in greater quantities than excitement? How hurt can someone be if the threshold for displeasure is too high to continue?

I’ve got a lot of practical questions, sorry. Don’t answer in bullet points unless that helps. I’m more interested in knowing how it starts and how it ends than the performance. And I don’t know how fucked up it could get if I find I’m not actually into it. For the record, I’m in no way being pressured to try a threesome; it’s something I’ve always wanted to experience, but it’s still nerve wracking to think about the number of possibilities that could lead to regret.