I know most if not all of the advice here will be to break up. I get it. But I'd really love to hear other opinions and/or just get support. As in the title, I'm just so sad.

I (42f) have one agreement with my secondary partner (50m), which is to tell each other when we're sleeping eith someone new and/or when we don't use barriers with someone new.

Last night right before I was about to blow him, I had a moment and asked him if he had had any unprotected sex I wasn't aware of, and he had. He wasn't going to tell me. He says he forgot and he did tell the truth when I asked but here's the thing...

He told me in a moment of weakness last fall that he has always had unprotected sex with lovers (we dont) without telling his wife. That he wants to stop this behaviour and that he feels terrible about it. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him, also because we do use condoms. But here we are. He wasn't going to tell me and I feel like a fool. I also just love this guy so much, and am so so sad that this is where we're at.