I’m talking to a man who is in a “don’t ask, don’t tell” open relationship. He referred to it as ENM.

We are both very into each other but he has been with his wife for 14 years, no kids, and doesn’t have any inkling of desire to leave her. We text constantly and also sext. Genuinely are so into each other and it’s a very hot connection.

I know it can’t really go anywhere beyond being extremely sexually fulfilling and I know I want to have kids eventually / in the somewhat near future. I need advice for how to not let it take up so much of my time and heart while still being excited about it? I feel like as a woman I have a tendency to give my absolute all when I like a man. I enjoy doing so but in this case I’m realizing that I sort of have the short end of the stick. What would you say to help me feel more empowered in this dynamic and not let myself develop feelings?