My wife (42f) and I(41m) have been together for 21 years, married for 14 and open for 8 years and have two kids. We have had ups and downs like any couple, we were close to breaking up 10 years ago and decided to try being open to solve that disparity in sexual desire. At first this was a bit rough, but within a year we had worked through our problems and things seemed like they were working. We both had a series of relationships where we got things that we didn't really offer eachother.

Eventually I met someone who I was very compatible with. 6 months into that new relationship the pandemic started and new dates became quite difficult. I grew closer to her and eventually realized that I was missing an emotional sexual relationship rather than just sex with 1-3 month relationships. My wife broke things off within a few months of the start off the pandemic and really only dated again starting in 2023 but she seemed like she lost a taste for it. She grew to resent my other partner even if at most I give her one day a week.

Things grew tense for the last month or so, not just relationship but also work and family. I said I needed more support from my wife and that seemed to trigger animosity rather than her giving me what I needed.

Today she said she needed more than I could give her and wasn't getting anything she needed for me. I offered to break things off with my secondary relationship and end all new dates if she agreed to try and build a closer me fulfilling sexual relationship between the two of us. She said that that wasn't realistic and asked for a divorce.

I know this is nothing new here. I know we probably would have ended things a while ago without the open relationship. I know that I'm offering her what she says she wanted and now she is saying no. Despite all that I can't help but feel I broke something and that makes me sad.

I'm not here for anything except to share - love the community here and best wishes that no one else has to go through this.