Me, semi-demi, feeling myself and trying to break out of my shell more. I've been having a great, on-going connection with someone and I'm feeling sexy and confident as of late. I bump into a very distant acquaintance and he asks for my number, I say sure.

We end up going out, dancing, and then having a very hot make-out session in my car. It was clear he wanted more, invited me in, I said no but it was fun and we should do it again sometime (regret saying this). I also made it clear that I have a partner that I live with and that I'm a busy person.

Now that the moment has passed I find myself not actually interested in a second date. Part of it feels like general incompatibility and part of it feels like some sort of demi-regret: I can't believe I went so far on a first date! Ugh, he's going to expect that level of intimacy the next time and I hardly know him! Aaah!

Anyways, I've been deflecting his follow-ups (which also feel like a little too much tbh) and it's been easy so far because I'm on a trip (hey- not available- traveling). My question is- what do I owe this guy? Should I put out a straightforward "that was fun but it's not going to happen again." message? But maybe that's too much? After all, it was a super casual date...I just don't want to be a jerk.

Actually, as I'm typing this I'm reflecting back on other moments from the evening and thinking, "well that seems like a good reason to not have a second date" but I'm realizing that I don't have to have a reason- it's OK to just not want to. I keep trying to justify it to myself for some reason. Like I feel guilty for not giving him a second chance. Especially because we got physical and I feel he was also kind of emotionally vulnerable during the evening as well.

Welcome specific or general advice. Is this just a normal date? When would it become a ONS?