We opened our relationship to casual sex/dating, discussed the rules, went on dates separately and had a threesome. Two months ago I got really sick (unrelated) and spent the last month in bed. My recovery may take another 3 months and I have to continue to monitor my health, possible surgery in a year if it my health doesn't improve.

I have no energy and desire to do anything, even seeing my friends makes me want to bury deeper in bed. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I feel miserable. I talk to people on Tinder, rarely, but all I can really talk about is my illness. I don't want to date anyone and I don't see it working for me. I have no sexual desire even for my partner, I have no kinks, no dreams, I'm surviving. When I have a bit of energy I want to do something that I know will make me feel better - do yoga, read a book, sit in the garden.

Meanwhile my partner goes out, goes on dates, enthusiastic about life and thinks we can do anything and we have a wonderful future ahead. We also had a plan to get married this winter and he is as determined as ever even despite my illness. What am I missing?