(F38) Having a FWB means I’m no longer suppressing my wants.

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship (married 14 yrs, 15 yrs together), sex has always been blah. Yes I married him anyway, I loved him then and I am obsessed with him now. Somehow he just doesn’t get it. I over explain everything, gets defensive, gets weird and gets awkward. Somehow I have learned to navigate it and just get myself off while he watches or talks dirty and touches me. I spent most of my marriage suppressing all my desires to make him feel good. We spoke about opening and he was ok for the most part. I have started talking to someone I trust and for the most part we sext and he literally can get me off just by talking to me. Says all the perfect things… without me even saying a word. I know I will sleep with him the first chance I get.

I told my husband I would like to have a don’t ask don’t tell, he is somewhat ok with it… but I can see he wants some details which I don’t want to give. How do you handle this?