I knew them since September, we were fast friends, and fast crushes, but we shifted the relationship to friends with benefits in late May. for context, I am very happily married to my wife and have been for 8.5 years. we entered into ENM this year, with well established rules and a focus on consent from all parties. my wife gives her blessing for my FWB relationship with this person.

I always thought they were out of my league. we're both in our 30s, but they're older than me, a professional, extremely intelligent (like genius levels), and educated into a great career. I'm kinda just floundering through life, doing my best at surviving every day. I love my wife (who is also extremely competent and has seen success in her endeavours) and my pets but we're very much just trying to get by.

fwb doesn't give a shit, of course, about any of my self-hating internalized-classism bullshit, and seems to really like me regardless of the very different lives we've lived. I've got that "messed up went through some shit ptsd mental illness" style stuff, and even tho they've had a lot nicer upbringing than I have, they still have the same dark comedy style, antisocial nihilism as me. we're both doing our best to embrace the absurd, live by camusian philosophy, even tho the world is looking like a black hole and we're about to spaghettify. when we hang out, we feel like we are in a little pocket of safety just for us, away from the harshness of reality.

they were reluctant to take that step into a fwb relationship because it had been a long time since they had been in a relationship before me. they've basically only done the fwb thing for the last two decades, and I get the impression it's because they aren't into committment and the maintenance of a relationship (this, of course, means what we can offer each other as fwbs is perfect for both of us).

but since they decided that they did want to try being fwbs, Ive realised it's also because they give a LOT of themselves when in a relationship. like me, they are very gesture-driven, and they strive to create moments, which often makes me feel very special. we go on hikes for hours, and afterwards we'll spend a long time just holding each other, making out, and birdwatching. I don't drive, so they'll pick me up, we'll drive to any hiking trail within an hour from town, and then they'll will make sure I always get home safe. I've been able to visit places I haven't been able to for years, because they're always willing to go wherever as long as we're together in nature.

I think a thing about it too is we did meet in a workplace environment. I worked there for a short amount of time, and they had worked there for a while before. they were a superior. we shook hands when we met, and were professional with each other for months before we suddenly realised we wanted to kiss each other a whole lot. neither of us work at that place anymore, and did not enter into a fwb relationship or confess feelings until after we both left and were just friends for a while. but part of having had that sort of professional relationship makes the whole thing a bit exciting. we had a crush on each other while working together, and I think that tension fuels us in a sexy way a little bit to this day.

we have since found out a lot about each other, the kind of people we are outside of that workplace environment, as well as our pasts and secrets. they speak about us in terms of years, which is just thrilling for me who often struggles to make long-term friends. it's been really fun being around them. I've shown them a lot about foraging and mycology, and they've shown a lot of interest in the same things I do. we're very compatible, and every moment I spend with them has been bliss.

so yeah just a gush. I really like them and I feel very safe and happy with them. if you read all this, thanks! share a lil gush about your fwb, I'd love to giggle like girls at a sleepover with you!