And am accepting some heirchical control, for now, because it is very early days. At what point would others raise their feelings of frustration and how? I am not sure it will persist and I haven't had sex with either of them yet, but tonight I meet with her alone.

I met her alone at a pub first, and she explained she was in a hierarchy partnership with a guy but has a couple of male playmates she sees alone occasionally. She explained that she doesn't think it would be OK to go ahead and have more "friends with benefits", as she described it. For me, her description is casual hookup, because she only sees them for sex and not that often (one only a couple of times a year).

We were very attracted to one another and kissed passionately in the pub, I made a joke about my huge bulge, and she gave it a good feel. I squeezed a nipple and she groaned. We kissed again outside.

We met all three of us the second time, in a pub, and got on amazingly well and all agreed that I would meet her first time alone, tonight.

We have a group WhatsApp chat and he announced that he is dropping her off, which kinda feels like it is his "gift" to me, but might be my assumption.

I want to see how things shift after we have had our first sex session tonight and she reports back how it was to him. He is mostly interested in a cuckold situation but clearly was attracted to me and is likely bisexual, even though he claims not. Being a sex professional I absolutely know most men are bi-curious at the very least.

Assuming it goes well, and we progress to a threesome/cuckold next, as agreed, how would others approach any further hierarchy that feels uncomfortable for me, whilst understanding that for most existing couples it is a reality (even if it is clearly possessive crap ultimately)?