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My wife and I recently agreed to an open relationship, she’s already been with someone and I recently met someone as well who I will be seeing soon. We spend a lot of time (like half the year) apart so that’s our compromise. One thing I am wondering is how you all handle phone calls or texts from your primary partner while with your FWB. This is all new territory for me so I appreciate any recommendations/ advice on this topic. Thanks in advance!
Your life with your primary doesn't stop because you are out with someone else. My wife is a cuckquean, so when I am out with my girlfriend she's not texting me or calling me unless it's important. I had an honest and open conversation with my girlfriend who is married to a cuckold. Told her, if our partners call, it's probably important. Ignoring their call or texts is not something I am comfortable with.
We agreed that texts should be minimal and responses would be given only if it was required or legitimate. For instance, "The docs office called and asked to reschedule my appt to Friday instead of Thursday - can you pick up the kids? I need to give them an answer. They are a specialist so the next opening will be in 3 months if I don't take it." or "FYI taking the dog to emergency vet care... vomiting up blood. Will update you later."
If they call then we pick up - acknowledging the need to be efficient in handling the call. Doesn't matter if we are fucking. If a call comes, everyone knows it needs to be important and urgent on all sides.
Open direct and honest communication has to part of this dialogue. In my relationship, my wife comes first and the same dynamic exists for my girlfriend. Her family obligations come first.
Neither of our spouses have ever written a "Whatcha doing?", "Thinking about you!", or "Tell them hello for me!" while we are spending quality time together.
When I am spending the night with the GF, she knows I'm calling to tell my wife goodnight and ask her about her day. She does the same thing. But we keep it to less than 20 minutes. Our marriages don't get put on hold because we are with someone else. We both acknowledge that we love our spouses and that it doesn't take away from our time together.
Hell I've called her husband during a date night to ask about ingredients for a recipe he makes.
If your play partner has an issue with you speaking to your spouse or their spouse - seek another person. Not worth the time or trouble. We're both very lucky in that we are very open with our spouses about our relationship. We're FWB and we are happy to be open and free to communicate with respect given to the other person's time.
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All of this. That's my situation - long term FWB. Communicating and being solid friends first really helps it work out. In our case neither is looking to get married or run off together. We're way past the NRE stages. I've had the same experiences where people catch inappropriate feelings. First time it comes up, we talk about it and reiterate that this is a FWB situation that will never go any further. I'm not looking to cohabitate with anyone. It took me years to get used to living with my current wife and dog. Not adding any more drama to the mix.
As long as you are honest from the beginning and clear about everything - you won't likely run into problems.