ENM dating as a married guy comes with its own set of challenges. As many posts on here are written by husbands or boyfriends who are surprised when their female partner gets flooded inboxes while they just hear crickets in their own.

Straight guys are not in demand and you have less to offer monogamous women if you're married. As a bi guy, I can hook up with a guy within the hour off an app. That said, the quality of dudes hitting me up is pretty low. Meeting guys also comes with much more risk. The same goes for the guys hitting up my wife. Women have to sift through miles of bullshit to get one good match.

Every other profile I see on Bumble or Tinder is of some woman looking for her soulmate our something long term. For the love of your preferred savior or flying spaghetti monster, swipe left on them. There's no point. You're both looking for different things.

I literally only swipe right on women looking for short term flings or women who explicitly present themselves as ENM or Poly. In less than a week of getting back on Tinder/ Bumble, I have plenty of matches that are generally high quality and turn into dates. I attribute that to a good profile, that's explicit that I'm ENM, and being very selective in who I swipe right on. I get less matches than when I was single in college, but that was ten years ago and a completely different environment.

Your profile sucks. Seriously, I see the shit my wife has to sift through and I understand why she rarely meets up with people. The shit I sift through is wild for that matter. They're either unattractive, they present themselves as problematic/ immature, or, if they do match, they say absolutely wild shit. It may be a desert for you as a guy on dating apps, it's a nuclear wasteland for women/ people looking for men.

Further on profiles, it seems that apps geared towards nonmonogamous people have much lower quality profiles. Dudes, please get a haircut, trim the beard, get some well fitted clothes, and hit the gym. Dadbod≠obese. You have to put effort into your appearance if you're going to try and attract people. It's harsh but, you're not going to get anywhere without being attractive. Have a good face picture. Have photos of you doing stuff. Use good lighting to your advantage. My matches went through the roof when I added a picture of our dogs on there.

The odds are stacked against you as a married dude. That said, it's far from impossible.