What’s up party people.

My (29m) girlfriend (27f) and I have recently decided to try the waters of opening up our relationship. We’ve been together for a couple of years total with a 6 month break after a rough patch at the end of the first 8 months. Since then things have been mostly positive, some ups and downs but we have worked on a lot of what plagued us the first go round.

As we’ve settled in your our routine we can both agree that things feel a little stale. We decided to open things up to see if we could add some spark to our lives and find some fulfillment in general outside the relationship. Rather quickly, she got pretty close to one of her Xbox friends and since has caught some feelings and things seem to be moving along. This is a new experience for me so I’ve been feeling apprehensive but trying to adapt as this is something I would want to explore on my end as well. Plus seeing her happy, is always a nice touch.

In the last couple weeks she’s gone on two dates, one of which was a sleepover with the person (had a long drive home late at night so staying was the safer option). This has had me feeling left out and a bit jealous just because I’d like to spend my time similarly or at least occupied in that area.

I’ve brought up the idea of me going on a dating app, hinge specifically, because you can filter by ENM. I would display my profile as partnered to be upfront with who I talk to and maybe try to include a picture with my gf just to be transparent and show that I’m not trying to step too far outside.

She’s not a fan of this idea and thinks I should only form natural connections like she did with a friend she met through twitch/dbd. And in turn wants me to remain off the apps and only try to find these connections ‘naturally’ in my day to day (I work full time barely getting by so I don’t go out much), or on social media which due to being in a relationship for the last year plus, I don’t follow many women. This feels a little bit controlling to me just because it prolongs me not really having something of my own in this new openness while she progresses. I know it’s not a competition, but I’d rather not feel like this is a one sided arrangement.

I feel it’s a bit unfair since she’s settling in with someone who she did keep from me for a bit how much feeling she had with him, and they’re going out in person. I feel like I should have the option to explore my options in a way that allows me, options.

Am I wrong for feeling unfairly restricted by what she’s setting as her rules despite what she’s got going on on her end?