My partner (m23) and I (m23) have been together for over two years, I feel really happy with him and really really grateful to have him in my life - i love him to absolute bits! We’ve spoken a good bit about polyamory and exploring opening up our relationship, I think I need more time to process things before I’m fully comfortable but he feels ready right now.

Recently we were at a party with some friends, we all got pretty fucked up and had this kissing party thing lol. A mutual friend who we both have said we have a crush on was involved also, but it felt like, really intense and passionate between my partner and this person, whereas I was sort of sat more to the side and felt really left out, (ie I’d get a quick 5 second kiss from my partner, and then they’d go back to kissing each other passionately for another 3 minutes while I just kinda watched and tried and failed to get in on it)

Anyway, ever since then I’ve been noticing that they have a really strong vibe together - when it’s the 3 of us at any place, it’s more me and them than anything else. And thinking retrospectively, I think they’ve had this vibe for a long time, and I’ve always felt a bit left out when the 3 of us are together. I’m really scared that my partner has fallen out of love with me. That he’s sick of me. That he’s more attracted to this other person and that I am holding him back. I have ocd and it’s really latched itself onto this whole situation. For example, i keep getting these overwhelming intrusive thoughts whenever we kiss that he’d much rather be kissing her. It feels really horrible to even be thinking any of this and I feel terrible. But I just need some help with this basically, and some advice please 💕🥲