I keep seeing this a lot, both in my own life and on here, where people make testing for STIs a prerequisite for any sort of interaction.

To make it clear, you're allowed to have whatever boundaries for yourself that you deem appropriate and there's absolutely no need to explain or justify that to anyone else.

That said, if you're going to make testing a prerequisite for other people, there are a few things that are helpful to keep in mind before you do that.

First, testing is not always accurate. This is not a reason to refuse testing. The standard battery of STI tests does not cover all possibilities and the ones it does cover do represent potential false positives/negatives. Certain things (like HPV) aren't even covered under your standard array of tests and you have to be willing to pay out of pocket for them.

Also, understand what a positive test means. In some cases, a positive test will show that you have at one point had a particular infection and that it's no longer active. Understand what you're reading when someone shows you a test result.

Second, testing isn't universally available or necessarily cheap for everyone. Health insurance will often only cover STI testing at certain intervals during the year. After that it's out of pocket and that can range in cost. Some counties offer free STI testing and there are often Planned Parenthood or other similar types of clinics that will offer that for free or low cost. If you're a student, most student health centers will do it for free or very low cost.

That does not mean that everyone has immediate or easy access to testing services. If you're talking to someone and they mention a barrier to access, be ready to share resources with them. Someone who's got a genuine barrier will generally be happy to make use of those resources. Someone who's lazy or trying to stall will most likely make excuses and you have your answer as to "Do I want to sleep with this person?"

Time is a component of this. If I want to make an appointment with my doctor, I'm looking at two to three months before I can get in and that isn't abnormal. Most people are going to have to wait some time before they can see a healthcare professional, be that because of their own schedule or whatever the availability of services are for them.

Cost is another component. There are generally testing services that can be accessed for free but even low cost may be a barrier to some people. If testing is that important to you, offering to pay for/reimburse someone for getting a test is always welcomed and is, again, a good test to see if someone is serious or not.

Third, keep in mind you are asking for someone else's medical information. You do not have an inherent right to see test results for STI screening any more than you have the right to see test results for cancer screening. Just as you have a right to ask, they have a right to say no and at that point you can reassess if you're comfortable participating or not. No one owes you access to their medical records.

Again, you are free to ask for whatever you want but keep in mind what you're asking for.

Also, get tested. STI screening may not be as universally accessible as some people seem to believe it is but that isn't an excuse to avoid testing. If the safety of you and your partners is important then testing should be a priority.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.