If a hinge is married to one of his partners, thatâs a legally enforceable hierarchy, but could he still say that he doesnât consider that person to be a âprimaryâ partner?
Iâve read poly experiences online where legal marriage grants privileges but it doesnât mean that person is primary. For example, I read one where someone was remaining legally married to their ex strictly because their ex had a good job and good health benefits, but they lived full time with their boyfriend. If I was that person, I wouldnât consider my ex to be my primary, just because of a marriage.
In my situation, my husband is married to me legally for immigration reasons (Iâm the immigrant) but he has a child and home and pets and a company etc with his other partner. I donât think Iâm automatically the primary partner just because we are legally married when he has so much else in his other relationship
So I guess my questions are, does a hierarchy such as legal marriage automatically = primary relationship? Would you say that marriage automatically makes a person your #1? Are there other forms of hierarchy that can mitigate the significance of marriage? Example, married to one partner but have children and live with the other?
Nope. None of the legal parts of marriage are changed. You can have kids with 30 different people. The legal part of your marriagebis unchanged. Except inheritance perhaps.
Having kids with a non spouse doesn't change the legal contract of marriage with a non coparent.
There is still sure as shit legal rights and responsibilities and hierarchy. Name it what you want.
People have kid with their fucking ex's that doesn't make them their primary.
Marriage comes with real legal rights and responsibilities.
But either way. This person has boatloads if hierarchy with two people.
Children change nothing about legal marriage hierarchy.
RIGHT?
It astounds me that folks seriously argue otherwise.
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RIGHT?
It astounds me that folks seriously argue otherwise.