we opened our relationship last year, i wasn't entirely on board but wanted to work on my jealousy so thought ok, we can try it out. we tried to do sex only but it didn't work for either of us, we both got emotionally invested in other people and realized it didn't take away from our love for each other - it's something i'm still wrapping my head around, and something i have some insecurity about, but i'm working on it.

thing is, there's financial disparity between us - they work part time and don't make much money, plus was studying part time, so i was helping them out with a certain amount per month to help out with car rental and other expenses. the car is not really shared as we don't live together, it's a hassle for me to use it because i have to drop it back to her house when i do (long story), and we don't have other shared expenses.

i've realized recently that i'm not that comfortable with this arrangement while we're open. i was happy to take on more of a "provider"/supporter role when we were closed, but now with the added risk (especially considering emotions involved) i just keep overthinking and feeling like i'm being taken advantage of. i tried to set the boundary and tell them i need to financially withdraw but they didn't take it well. they've also given me shit for spending money on one of my paramours, saying that seeing me spend money on another person makes them feel like they're not a priority as my partner. there's more context to this of course that i can't go into because i don't want to make this post too long, but i keep overthinking whether i'm being unreasonable about this. all my friends who i've spoken to have reassured me that i'm not, but they're also monogamous and coming from a more traditional mindset, so i thought i would ask on here. please be gentle if i am overreacting, i am here with an open mind and willing to listen to alternative perspectives. thank you!