Thank you for being open to hearing this, for listening the other night and providing reassurance (I know I ask for a lot and I’m working on letting that go), and for showing up to this relationship with care and thoughtfulness over the past 2 years.

I love what we have and how you show up. Seriously. These aren’t things I think you or I have done wrong, but they’re things I’d like to see some changes to going forward.

So here are my thoughts:

•      It would help me if we had a way of talking about hard stuff that feels good for both of us so we can be open when things need to be shared. I don’t like to bring stuff on dates and I also don’t love text for this and then I find myself just holding it. Maybe we have regular check ins? Or, what feels good for you?
  

•      I’d like to be able to answer honestly when people ask me how we know each other or who my lover is and to have your consent to this. I don’t need a big announcement, I just don’t want to be a secret anymore.
  

•      I’d also love if we can get to a place of acting like good friends when we’re at public events. It’s been a bit tricky…I’ve seen you trying with this and I appreciate it, I’d love if we can both be intentional around it and I know much of this is on me too.
  

•      I’d like to be a bit kinder and more thoughtful with our words together. I don’t know if you notice this, but sometimes I think unintentionally you’re a bit cold with words and it hurts...like as an example you’ve told me we’re still together because you didn’t want to put work into finding someone else. These moments don’t feel great, but I’ve been rationalizing them with the warmth that you also show and by reassuring myself. I’d like this to stop, but I know its not always intentional so there’s room for time and growth. Going forward, I’ll make an effort to tell you my feels in the moment so it doesn’t fester. I will also make an effort to tell you more about why and how you’re amazing – because you are.
  

•      Ok lastly, and this one is tough to talk about, but at times it’s still hard for me to hold what I know about your broken agreements with primary . I think I can understand why it happened, it’s not mine to forgive, and you don’t owe me anything around it.  With all that said, to let it go for myself I need to gently suggest that you work on what was underlying this – and maybe you are. And to offer that if you think talking about it would help you, I’m open to that. But I know its big and I may not be the person to discuss it with. I hope for honesty in our relationship and also know there's lots of reasons why that's hard. 
  

  Well...

That’s all my thoughts. I’d love to hear if you have any as well. I like our connection and I think we can be people who keep showing up for each other in some form or another for a bit. Definitely love your sexy bod and especially being all hot and naked with you. And I'll add that I heard you the other night in wanting g things to stop circling. I think we can move through this to a better place.