Long time lurker but first post:

I (M28) and my girlfriend (F32) opened our relationship about a year and a half/two years ago following couples therapy specialising in non-monogamy. A long, troubled journey with ups and downs but it has made us extremely more solid and truly Partners. In this period we have not really experienced much, I have only had one partner for one time and she has never been interested in actively seeking other interactions, at the same time the sex life between us already very poor and gradually began to become almost totally non-existent finding us in a situation of very high libido for me and almost in the asexual spectrum for her. It has never prevented me from seeking satisfaction in other relationships, only that I began to feel a deep sense of guilt and discomfort in the fact that no matter how hard I try in the couple this reality never returns except for very brief moments, and the opening of the couple has never been aimed at seeking a different way of satisfying something that is absent between us, furthermore financially at the moment I take care of everything and when I have the possibility I continue to feel a deep sense of guilt at the idea of spending resources and time on other people to satisfy my selfish need.

I am not sure if this post of mine is a vent or a request for advice, but I would just like to talk to someone who has perhaps experienced something similar and maybe can help me see something that I can't see at the moment.