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Advice for ENM couple who don’t want to be “lifestyle people?”
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We are contemplating ENM. Starting off with her dabbling with some play with boys. I prefer spontaneity and just “being open to possibilities” rather than apps and seeking it out and it consuming your life. She prefers a kitchen table poly situation. Neither of these are spending lives carving up calendars with other people. On that, we are aligned.
I prefer to be on a biz trip and flirt… even if things do or don’t go anywhere. The mere idea that I can.
Is this all naive?
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The concern isn’t lacking commitment to planning, it’s becoming obsessed to where you’re planning revolves around cutting your time apart from each other in any significant way.
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We go to clubs a few times a year. But we mostly meet our swinger friends outside of clubs. The amount of calendar management it takes to get three or four or five people together is intense. Lol.