Polyamory or Free-for-all Sex

My husband (male 65) has had a long-term relationship relationship with a woman going almost 6 years. When he reached midlife, mid 50s, he was interested in his work wife but ultimately she refused to have sex with him. She retired and left the workplace. He subsequently became involved with Sunshine. It was hard not to know that he was involved with her. He had two phones and would jump to answer. She went to Ohio for awhile and he consistently went over the data limits on our phone plan. I blamed my youngest son on over use of his phone until I actually ran a report on phone usage by whom and to where. That's when he got the second phone. He ended up diagnosed with herpes and begged me not to leave him. And yeah we were still having sex, although less frequently.

For my part, I was struggling to take care of my mom ( I am an only child of an only child, so not much in the way of options for shared caregiving). My middle son and his wife were addicted to Fentanyl. With the addictions came a whole host of issues, legal and medical, and I became embroiled in that. At one point, one of my son's friends snapped a picture of Sunshine and my husband making out in a bar with the caption "Isn't this your step-dad?" It pretty much destroyed my son and my husband's relationship. Now both my son and his wife are incarcerated. At that point I became caregiver to my grandsons, currently 13 and 15.

In all honesty, I didn't mind my husband seeing someone else because it took the pressure off me to be always emotionally available to my husband. He always came home to me and said he would never abandon me. Oh and until a year ago I worked full time. I did retire so that I had more time for everyone. Husband, mom and grandsons. I am 67

At the beginning of the year I started getting mean messages from Sunshine. My husband said he was trying to break off his relationship with her and the only way to get to him is to get to me.

After talking about it, I agreed to open the marriage. He had a longtime relationship and said he cared for her, that she had no friends and pretty much needed someone to talk to. There were a lot of bumps during this process, initially with her demanding 12 hours of his time for every 12 hours that he spent with me. I know the are sexually active since I can taste latex on his nether parts when he and I have sex. And, I am not going to lie, the sex between my husband and myself has been great which I attribute to him being over the moon happy to having an open relationship with Sunshine.

Initially I tried to be friendly to Sunshine. Didn't work. I am happy that it is going well with the two of them. If I had met her in a social or work environment, my OPINION would be that she is a garden variety sociopath. My difficulty with everything now is that I am lonely and feel I don't have anyone to talk to. I am starting to pick up a few hobbies but really need a certain level of intimacy.