Me(F28) and my boyfriend(M30) are long distance and are trying an open relationship. I would drive there but it's a 3 day drive if there are no stops between, not enough money for a plane, and crazy job rules and regulations keep me from him for long periods of time. I have been more than okay with this open relationship and I even get turned on hearing about all the things he does. It's a very healthy relationship and he has been nothing but respectful and tells me all the time If I'm not comfortable with anything he will stop right away.

His birthday is in a few days. Tonight he asked if it was okay for him to try and set up something with his FWB for his birthday. I'm not sure if it's jealousy or sadness that I can't be there to celebrate his birthday in person but either way bad and hesitant feelings creeped in. I know I would be okay with it otherwise so I told him to let me think about it but I'm still have no idea. I don't want to deny this because of me being sad about not being there for him in person and I also don't have a present lined up for him that day as we frequently buy presents throughout the year too.

I'm just stuck and this open relationship is also very new to me. I enjoy it but it's a new experience. Any advice would be nice. I know this is something I have to choose for myself but everyone in my life is monogamous and demonize ppl that do anything else so I can't ask for advice normally