So my (42f) boyfriend (50m) recently informed me in a moment of weakness that throughout his multi decade open relationship he has had barrier free sex with many partners and not informed his primary.

I was shattered for a while, but am coming out of it. I stayed and it hasn't been easy. It does feel recently like we're emerging from how terribly this impacted our relationship.

But I still struggle to trust myself that this can be ok in any way. He says this stopped 2 years ago and will never happen again. But his partner doesn't know, and it seems so unfair that there have been no repercussions.

There is a big part of me that will never trust him again. And I have made changes to our sex life to show that. There is part of me that knows he knows he messed up and is so very sweet in other ways.