Hi. My partner (28f) & I (29f) have been together for almost 6 years. We love each other a lot, have a great relationship in many ways, and have always talked about getting married. About a year ago, we decided to try an open relationship. Basically, we both want to explore while we're still young. We ended up closing again due to a mixture of my low self-esteem and jealousy. Those are issues I'm currently working on, and I've told her I would be willing to try again when I feel like I've made some progress. The idea of being in an open relationship, with one romantic partner and the potential for hookups & twbs, does appeal to me.

She brought up the subject again, and basically I'm not quite "there" yet, but still open to it in the future.

However, while we were talking about it, we also got on the subject of boundaries. She said she still doesn't want multiple romantic partners, but if one of us did develope romantic feelings for someone else, she would be open to exploring that. I know I'm probably unenlightened for this, but her saying that filled me with dread. I told her that if she ends up wanting to explore romantic feelings with someone else, she's free to do that, but we won't be in a relationship anymore. I said that more bluntly than I should have and hurt her feelings, which I feel awful about, but that is really how I feel. It also feels like being open in general is more of a need for her than me.

Has anyone here ever been in a relationship where one partner is more "open" and been able to find something that works for everyone? And if you have, how? I want it to work out so badly, but I am worried that we're doomed :(

Thank you