My wife and I have been no non monogamous with various pauses for an few years. Basically we kiss some people during parties and had some occasional threesomes. We agreed to always talk with eachother before doing anything,but still there's been a bunch of occasions where she didn't like what happened and felt bad, even when our rules where followed. She still wanted to continue open,she said she enjoined and had very good experiences. She always had way more "liberties to have fun" than me because I didn't feel bad about the stuff she did but she had a lot of limitations about the stuff I could do. She doesn't seem to fit in no monogamy confortably, but she is not exactly monogamous, meanwhile I fell that I'm nonmonogamous. A very uncomfortable situation happened with us and a friend of us(which we had a very platonical relationship before) and she wants to close our relationship now. My priority is to be with her, and if it is to be in a monogamous relationship, so be it. But that doesn't mean it's going to be easy, I feel that guilt is going to be part of my life all the time for the fellings I'll have for other people. I feel that the life I'll have will not be the ideal life I want and that's a pretty bad feeling to have when you know you are living with the love of your life. I'm just not sure of how to deal with the feelings that will come when we close our relationship.