My wife and i have been together for over 20 years. We are now close to 40. When were where in out 20s we were swingers. She grew out of it. Becsuse there was alot of drama with the couples we met. I have never grew out of it. I want it so bad. And to see her with other people and me with other people. I have tried to talk with her. She says she is to old for that. Now i dont know what to do. I know i should drop it. However sometimes the thoughts are so strong.
Mixed answer: I say you're never too old. I'm 39 and I am in a mono/ENM relationship between my husband and I. Also been together 20 years. The lifestyle isn't for him but he let's me pursue extracurricular activities so long as I'm being safe about it and adhering to our boundaries.
You can't make your spouse do anything she isn't comfortable with, so I'd let that topic rest. However, gently asking her if you would be allowed to expend some of your energetic enthusiasm with another, what would the rules or boundaries be?
Definitely read up on the topic regarding couplea emotional securities and how to approach it. There's a great chapter in The Ethical Slut about mono/ENM relationships. Give it a look.
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