My husband and I recently became swingers and recently had our first full swap at a club. We really hit it off with the other couple and started a group chat afterwards. We always said we would only do things together but they asked if we would consider separate chats and we said yes.. Since then my husband has been talking to the wife, I've been talking to the other husband, and my husband wants to do separate dates with them so I said yes I'm willing to do that.. I am starting to have feelings for the other husband so I guess my question is, is this an open relationship or more a poly relationship? How do we navigate these new boundaries without losing what we have together? Has anyone gone from just being swingers to more and what tips do you have to succeeding? Thank you!
Swinger in an open relationship here.
My advice is to slow down, step back and have many serious conversations before you pursue this. Do not rush.
Swinging is a couples activity, it's very different from being open, which is leagues away from being poly.
You need to decide if you're okay with separate activities at all. If you are, you need to decide if you are okay with sharing love and everything that means. You need to discuss what a good non-mono relationship looks and feels like for the two of you.
And you need to figure out what the both of you want without the pressure of this specific couple influencing you.
NRE is a hell of a drug, and if you don't slow down, it's very possible this one choice will destroy your marriage.
I appreciate all the responses.. I just want to know how to navigate where we’re at right now. Maybe a book or podcast would be helpful
Right now it’s more of a friends with benefits setup I’d say. We would play separately. And they live 2 hours away so “dating” isn’t really possible
If it makes us happy though why is it too fast?
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I like this. Thanks