I’m not knocking ENM so don’t take this as an attack...I’ve throughly enjoyed it and made some great connections. But recently I’ve started to feel like this isn’t the highest and best use of time. Arranging dates, going on dates, being emotionally supportive to multiple people, boundary discussions and check-ins….its a pretty big time suck.
Anyone ever get burn out? Clear the roster for a bit and re-energize?
Absolutely.
I enjoy sexual activities with other people, but the scintillating connection I've built with my wife over the years means that the bar for the inevitable dating time suck to be worth the squeeze is really high. I've also got a busy professional job and two teenagers to care for. In that context, it's really difficult to justify the effort involved with spending 10-15 hours a week finding and fostering those connections. I'm a married guy, so the odds of finding those connections unless I put in that considerable effort are basically non-existent.
At the point where doing this is the equivalent of working a part-time job or taking a half-load of college courses, it gets incredibly difficult to rationally justify the effort. I look back at the things I could have done with the time I devoted to finding other mates after my marriage opened, and it was 100% not worth the effort. Perhaps it will be when my life is less chaotic, but only time will tell, I suppose 🤷♂️
Subreddit
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- 6 months ago
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- reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy...
Not asking for support. This is a surprising outcome that I wasn’t expecting given how excited I once was. Just wanted to hear about others’ experiences.