Like many here, hubby and I have been toying with the idea of ENM and swinging for a long time. We've taken some steps online that have been a lot of fun. We went one step further recently and I'm so conflicted and am struggling with it.

I had a night alone in a hotel and chose to go out for some drinks at a restaurant. I sat at the bar and made small talk and flirted a bit with the bartenders (both male and easily a decade younger than me). I msgd hubby often, telling him what was happening and if he was ok with it, he was.

One of the bartenders finished his shift and left the area. A minute later I felt a hand on my back and turned, expecting to see someone I know but instead, it was the bartender... His hand lingered long enough for me to be interested... And he asked if he could join me for a drink, I welcomed his offer!

We sat and talked about a lot of things and throughout he touched my arm and hand several times which made me feel great! We both had several drinks before he said he had to go and as he was leaving he said he hopes to see me there again and asked me my name.

As I left, I felt like I was literally floating down the sidewalk! I hadn't felt like this in years! I got back to my hotel and debriefed with hubby, he was fine with everything and so excited that I had fun and felt great!

Now fast forward to a few days later, I'm no longer elated. I'm playing back the evening thinking: he can't possibly have been interested in me and I misread the entire evening. I feel stupid.

Hubby has suggested I focus on the facts: I went out, I had fun, I met someone and had a great conversation, he chose to spend more than an hour of his personal time with me, and leave it at that. But I can't get this over-analysis out of my head!

Am I crazy? Am I alone in feeling this way? Suggestions?

Thank you in advance!