Post might be all over the place so I am sorry. Husband (aspen) and I (M) have been married a little over 2 years, in fact our wedding anniversary was just a week ago, but have been together for going on over a decade at this point. We have a partner (Birch)(M) we have been with for about 2.5 years now.

During the majority of our relationship with our partner we have been closed as a triad. Birch was getting a little lonely because it was long distance, we would only get to see him maybe once a month if that, and we wouldn’t always be having fun time while together. We had a conversation about opening up to allow him the chance to find someone that he could be friends with and maybe have a little fun with them as well. He agreed it was needed. After this new dynamic happened, husband and I found another poly triad (Cedar, Douglas, Elm) (M/M/MNb) that we clicked with. We kind of grew into this new polycule/fwb kind of dynamic with them.

Aspen got very attached to one of the others (Cedar) in the triad very quick and very hard. For a little over a month, they would only interact with eachother and when they were together they would kind of be in their own bubble like no one else existed. During this time, we never had solo play with anyone on the group. Any playtime was as a unit with all involved except our partner due to the distance still. I will admit that i got jealous and confirmed that with one of the partners (Douglas) of the others who was also jealous. The dynamic was forcefully changed between my partner and Cedar because Douglas talked to him and forced him to change, and now he is resentful of me because he is mourning it like they were together together. This has put a strain on the polycule/group and even more so us.

We havent really had a close/sexual relationship in a long time due to myself kind of just falling into a routine of work/sleep/school and forgetting that I also need to do things. Aspen tells me what he needs and i do my best to work on it but something stressful always comes up and i fall back into the routine. I think this is why being poly/ having a partner together has always worked the best for us.

I have been talking to another couple (Fir and Gingko), just as a FWB situation because of interests/quinks they have they I want to get into. Because of what happened to him, he is having a very difficult time letting me have time with these guys because how they talk, it doesn’t seem like they are interested in him like they are me. Having whomever we talk to be interested or atleast OK with our partners has been one of our main rules about opening up.

Now he brought up separation/divorce because he feels like i took something that was very important to him that made him happy and he has become very resentful of me. I expressed not needing these people, whom I have yet to have had alone time with, because my marriage is more important than having a FWB. He says it feels like I would be lying to myself by staying with him but I do not believe that is the case. Just kind of stuck in my head about it all right now and honestly it has made me very depressed the last couple days. Even having our partner move in for the summer hasn’t helped much.