Advice needed, am I a jealous husband

Male in my early 40s came out as bi to my wife of 17 years in my late 30s and through her supportive encouragement we decided to open up. First it was just for me but I insisted we both enjoy the life in threesomes and that talk evolved into dating separately. Throughout our marriage I had been away for long periods of time due to military duty and more recently job requirements.

During these times of separation I had requested that we sext or video chat for some sexy times together. Throughout the many requests and letting it known that is something that turns me on she participated twice and sent some not so revealing pictures once. She does not like to sext or video chat with me and usually states that it has to do with kids or not feeling comfortable in her location.

Additionally throughout our marriage I had requested that we play with some light bondage. Being tied up or made to submit to her and also doing the same to her is a turn on to me. We lightly experimented with this during our first year of marriage. Although, she reads about it in books and has admitted the stories are a turn on she has stated that she absolutely will not allow me to restrain her in any way and doesn’t trust me. Being told this hurts me very much.

Now onto my real issue. We are living in separate states due to work, her job this time, and opened up a little over a year ago. Through our agreement I am allowed to date men but not women, her choice and I am willing to accept her comfort level. We share password and log in info and allow each other to view dating profiles. I met a really attractive guy. And had a great time with him. Through lots of discussion with my wife it was agreed that I could sleep with this man and I insisted on protection, I think everyone was on board with that.

While I was casually dating this man my wife went on a few dates also. One of the guys she was texting with, she never actually met, liked to sext. And she reciprocated with what appeared to be without hesitation, often from her office. Photos were shared, and she encouraged his participation. Eventually they moved onto snap chat and communicated there, I can’t see her Snapchat. Near the end of their connection she stated that she was getting bored and felt that he just wanted to sext and wasn’t serious.

There was another man who was a dom that she wanted to meet with. She recently told me that she wants to dom men but did not seem to want to involve me in that until I pointed it out. She wanted to be his sub in order to learn how to be a good dom. I pointed out how I have suggested these things and she has flat out shot me down in the past. She ended communicating with that man.

She did go out on a couple dates but never went past making out. I’m glad she met someone she was able to go out with and meet face to face and was supportive of her even meeting the guy she sexted with so much.

Throughout this entire process I felt betrayed and unwanted I was very hurt because she was so quick to move forward with other men she never met but would not even consider doing those things with me for many years.

Am I just being a jealous and unsupportive husband? Am I over reacting in my hurt feelings? We had a discussion and agreed to no longer be ENM for the time being.

Ya that’s a lot. Thanks for reading.