Thanks. It does make me feel small. We started out not telling anyone because we work in the same field. It was fine st the time but as time has gone on I've started to feel unimportant and now it feels hard to tell anyone because...we lied for so long...but it's starting to make me feel crappy and at the same time I feel like I'm just supposed to be cool with it.

I'm trying to say thanks for acknowledging the feel. Thanks.

Wait, what!? You were married and you were still presented as the roommate?

Oh no, I've met her, she knows about me. But yeah...it feels crappy.

It is really special...for the first year I'd say we were more towards poly...regular check ins, lots of love, sharing our lives between dates. Then things got hard and we went through a lot together. Hard times for a few months and we've been settling down but sometimes there are still flare ups so I'm trying not to have one of those...

We still see each other about every 2 weeks. Go for drinks, and then have sex with lots of chatting in between sessions. Our dates are normally 6-8 hours long...there's love, but also challenges...it's special to me.

Thanks for listening. There aren't many folks I can talk to about it...

Oh yeah, I haven't told him how I feel about it actually because we've been through a hard time recently, I think he's trying to be sweet, and I don't want to rock the boat. I definitely don't think he's being a bad person.

I so appreciate your perspective. I've been so torn and kind of minimizing my own feelings about it so I like hearing g that I'm not being crazy.

Yeah I'm a bit confused about the invite too...although I do know his wife and a few of his friends because we work in the same field. Maybe it feels safe for him to invite me to this because it's bigger and more anonymous, and I've taken it as a sweet gesture of him giving me access to another part of his life that I've not had so far.

Part of me wants to go meet people and satisfy curiosity, part of me thinks I'm going to get hurt badly...

I just want it to not make me feel bad! I've never been invited to meet his fri3nds before and that part feels nice but yeah you're right.

I'm totally open to that. Thanks stranger!

Yeah that's what I'm figuring too...if I go it will be with a mindset to meet new people and not about spending time with him.

It's tomorrow...I haven't decided yet...still torn and wondering if there's any kind of request I could make that might help me feel less crappy.

Ouch!

Theoretically because we work in the same field, haven't told anybody, and have been dating for 21 months so now we're stuck in a lie...

Oh he's out. Very out. Like half of this party will be folks he goes to sex parties with. So...it kinda extra sucks that way. I'm sorry you've been in this position too and that it was hard. This is my first and really only relationship since opening...and I think in future I want to know that we can tell at least some folks and even maybe hang out with people together who "know"...