The person you quoted didn't like the fact that OP could unilaterally end their relationship with a woman out of nowhere

Anyone can do that. Even in marriage. I can unilateral end all my relationships

Is that arrangement unfair to men?

Not being free to end a relationship unilaterally is human trafficking, not a relationship.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/s/Hs1hYti4Bz

What happens when you find a smart, attractive, wonderful woman who you have incredible sex with, and would be a great girlfriend to you? What are you going to do? What are you going to do if your sex-dispenser woman sees other men aside from you?

I could find more examples, but I'm not going to waste my time.

I'm not following. Sorry.

You can give care and end a relationship kindly while still making a unilateral decision to end it.

I am sorry to hear about this sub group of shaming men for wanting or ot wanting sex.

Viewing men as willing sex dispensers and women as people who are damaged by casual sex hurts men and women..its two sides of the same coin and hurts everyone.

Oh yes. I've seen poly people froth at the mouth if you tell them not call women who are actively seeking casual sex "sex dispensers".

They never say it about men.

Op wanted casual sex with a woman who wants casual sex.

How is that treating her negative. Unless she is unable to agree to casual sex in a positive way.

Have you ever been the third in a relationship, created a bond with one or both folks in the primary relationship

There are no circumstances under which I would consider myself a third. I have dated people with primary partners. I wasn't a third.

and then one day seemingly out of nowhere one of those folks tells you that's it, we're done, I'm not seeing you anymore, doesn't matter how you feel about this, we've decided to terminate your part of the relationship?

I have had this kind of break up while doing monogamy and while dating people with primary partners. It sucks. Break ups hurt like he'll. I broke up with my spouse and didn't care how they felt about it tbh. It was a unilateral decision.

This is what is going to happen to someone who connects with OP in that thread if their partner regains their libido. It's similar to why folks can sometimes get concerned with couples going unicorn hunting (no this isn't the same, just using that as an example).

Casual sex relationships rarely last for a lifetime.

You'll notice that many people in that thread are concerned with what OP is doing. This is their mindset, including the person you quoted. They agree with you and are using that language to make a point.

That language makes a point that if a woman does agree to a fleeting, low stakes, for fun casual sex relationship with him that she is a sex dispenser and not a person.

This can happen to any gender. It's unfair regardless of gender.

No one says this about men.

Yes, I know folks can consent to this. That's fine.

Then its fine to seek out those who consent.

My point is, obviously anyone can cut anyone else out of their life at any time. But what's wrong with showing at least a bit of pre-emptive consideration for the other person's feelings?

Nothing wrong with that.

How is not related to ENM when its a direct discussion about language use in ENM spaces to describe a certain kind of ENM?

A prevalent attitude that I also see here.

How do you feel about generically calling hypothetical women who might agree to casual sex "sex dispensers" or women who don't like that term or use it for themselves.

Is this a post predicated entirely on one comment? Usually if I'm not sure what someone means by a phrase, I ask them directly instead of making an entire separate post.

No. I've seen and heard it for decades in many spaces online and IRL. I only gave that as an example because 1. You said you'd never seen it here. 2. It was from a few days ago so easy to find. That was a mistake because now you want to focus on one comment. I mentioned that I heard this even as a child in church. Its clearly not about that comment. I was hearing this before reddit existed.

Salary?

Yes. This is damaging language lifted directly from fundamentalist Christians.

The end result is women hearing that casual sex makes them just sex dispensers.