So me and my girlfriend have opened our relationship and I've found so far that she's been able to consistently go on dates while I've barely gone on one date. I can't help but feel it's harder for a man in an open relationship to explore and casually date because a lot of people see "in an open relationship" on a mans profile as a red flag (even my partner has admitted this and she said all her friends said the same thing when they were talking about it lol). I know that a big reason its "easier" for a woman is because they are extremely sexualized by men but we are both bisexual and I feel like even a woman/nb doesn't raise an eyebrow at seeing a woman in an open relationship. So basically I'm kind of wondering if there is a better way to navigate this as a man where it doesn't seem off-putting as a first impression. We both agreed to state that we're partnered on our dating apps and always disclose that when seeing other people. Is there maybe a better way that I can word this on dating apps or something? Any advice would be appreciated!
You're going to be off-putting to the vast majority of women out there, since you're already in a relationship, and they're going to want monogamy. You are also completely correct in your assertion that casual sex is easier to find from men than it is from women.
Leaning into your bisexuality and cruising for men seems like it would be an easy way for you to get around these difficulties.
They might be irrelevant, they might not.
But they don't just not want to date ENM men, they say we're lying.
And they say these things to their friends too, who might've been open to us and might not be anymore.
With all due respect...as a guy, this is a real thing.
You don't know everything, so it's odd that you talk like you do.
Let me disprove you right now...
My new fwb partner and her husband are poly. Her old fwb is mono by nature and her husband's gf sees herself as mono too.
Several of my fiancee's partners would call themselves monogamous, but they're fine with having a casual ENM partner. MOST of her partners have been mono by nature actually.
Those are facts.
This isn't that uncommon.
I agree. Wholeheartedly.
However...
It is a fact that for some people, men saying they're in ENM relationships is a red flag.
It's probably also true that those people aren't good partners for ENM men, but that doesn't change the fact that there are people who will say it's a red flag and we're cheating.
That's all I'm saying.
When I say that, I mean someone that wants a monogamous relationship as their primary relationship.
In many cases, it's the former. (Being cool with fucking casually until they settle down)
But I've also known of a few that are okay being monogamous while their partner isn't. (I think they're lying to themselves in the end there, but who am I to say)
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That's not true at all.
Mono people date ENM people casually all the time.