I guess this is how I post an update to my previous posting? Sorry if this is not the correct way to do so.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/comments/1byd0zi/need_advice/

I tried asking casually about the profiles we had set up. Apparently he hasn’t been monitoring those profiles, but instead has his own set up. It looks like the focus is on him finding someone, rather than us.

I asked if he had been talking with anyone lately. He said no one of any significance. Despite chatting back and forth with the lady, he met with a few weeks back. With the lack of transparency there and the realization that it wasn’t a joint thing anymore, I chickened out on digging any deeper.

Over the next few days, the phone we use to partner with people didn’t have any new messages. They had planned to meet last week and it didn’t end up happening, so I figured things maybe had ended. Today, I discovered that the conversations had continued… but on his personal phone instead.

They plan to meet again this week. I don’t know if I should address him pursuing this woman now or wait to see if they actually do meet this time. If I wait, I’ll know whether he chooses to lie about it or not. Last time, he told me he was meeting up with a man he had connected with. If he lies again, then that’s really not good. (We agreed on just pursuing men and not women, as I was not comfortable with this.)

This has all been happening under my nose. I just don’t know to what lengths he would go to, to cover it up. My concern is whether I can try to play things as normal, until the day they meet without letting on that I know about it or whether it’s just going to mess with me… We have a vacation coming up next week and I just don’t know what to do.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.